Nocturnal Monkey

this is a music video from the movie ‘girl next door’ i found on youtube. i’m really a fan of this nice movie about seducing,err… loving a pornstar which happened to be elisha cuthbert (the sweet li’l girl from ‘popular mechanics’ that grew with a hot body). a really touching song from ’spill canvas’ called ’so much’. Enjoy this one. ^^

 

This is the latest video from Urbandub,Evidence. The latest and second single from their album Under Southern Lights. I’ve watched it on youtube since i don’t watch Mtv much. I gotta say,this video is intense combined with lots of anger wrapped with revenge. It has a nice storyline and really implies deep, strong feelings. I like how Gabi Alipe(starring role)smoked his cigar unmindful of the deep sh*t that his in after he pummeled the skull of Iza with a hummer. Featuring Iza Calzado and Ryan Eigenmann bringing some more drama and life to the already wonderful acting job of Gabi. Viewers may somehow see this video as violent as it is ever gonna get but there is not much better ending than having the cheater get what she deserves. (hehe die biy*tch!) Revenge is so sweet in this video that Mtv and Myx already banned playing it. Well, i say this is a nice work by Quark Henares.

I am anxious and dreaded to be a graduate. Being a Bachelor of Science does not really mean being a b*tch of your own school or university. Well, maybe just for a time. You study hard. Pay the pricey tuition quarterly. And still, it ain’t any good for me, i think. I still took 2 extra years studying a 4-year course. “d’ ko lam…”,this is usually my boring and lame ass answer to any questions thrown at me whenever i’m asked on how or what is keeping me too long to finish a 4-year course. “Why 6 years???”. “i guess…its more like learning from failures”, i added.  But the truth is, its more like riding a tricycle from our house to the jeepney terminal. Then riding a jeep from there up to monumento. And Lrt to Intramuros. And not to forget, the painstaking walk from central station to our school. Its an exhausting 1 and a half hour trip and another 1 1/2 hour back home. This is school everyday. 6 years is too long. But everyday is much longer.

 

 

 

Van Wilder’s approach on education

 

I am the type of a guy who likes to be in a hurry. So i took a 4-year course, but in contrast to what i want from back then, I’m also a type of guy who does not mind experiencing failures. I pretty much learn the hardest way. Sadly, I learn by my mistakes. I know i’m not bobo, and not the genius type either but for some reason, i’m just so keen of bein’ a loser at first before things settle up in my head. A mediocre of my own doings. Well, to put it simply, I try all the options possible unmindful of the consequences. An example of this and also my all-time favorite is when I don’t come to class and use up all my maximum allowable absences for that course (which is 6). I come to class late. I smoke. I stay up late. I think this is also the very reason why I am not a graduate up until now. Yep, so near but yet so far.

It’s a saying that a man should learn from his mistakes, his faults, so as to improve thyself. Yes, we are human and are vulnerable to many errors and failures. But most of which, we disappointingly regret. Either you missed a chance of a lifetime or just took the 50-50 chances of approaching that someone you’ve been really rooting for. Knowing that you might be turned down or end up happily ever after. Yes we have a choice. For every option we face and the cost it would take makes it much harder to choose. Yes I failed many times with the different choices I make with my life but I am not ashamed of where I stand now or the consequences I’ve dealt with. What’s most important is that these mistakes had shown me things that dared me to move. To face choices with such vindication and certainty. Regret means nothing if means to be your destiny isn’t it? If it means you breaking yourself, at the least, you’ve made a choice. And,hopefully, time may come that never will i be ashamed of myself asking if ever i learn something.

i’l gladly make you one for free. hehe.. just join my blog(register) and leave a comment to some of my posts (all of it na lang mas okei! okei?) or email me @ intia.jm@gmail.com…

Its 4 in the mornin’, and im still having this ‘block’ or whatever you may call it. I can’t think of anything to blog about. I just feel i have to write something, ’cause obviously, wala pang kalaman-laman. hehe.. so i just listen to my winamp playlist hoping to somehow get some inspiration(naks!). Deep in the middle of my thoughts, i hear a song from Lifehouse with their single Everything. I’m not really a fan of these guys. But this song is really nice. Sad thing is my copy of the song is putol. Its originally 6:37 minutes long but it cuts off at 3:15 (wtf?).  *sigh* This song reminds me of high school. Really. But I don’t know why. It just brings back memories.  So i queued it 5 times. After 5 times of playing, an idea popped out of my head. i was now in search mode(Alt+j). I was determined to think of all the songs that reminded me of someone or something from my high school days. These were my searches: Best i ever had by Vertical Horizon, Nsync songs (Nooo!), No one else comes close by Joe, Binoculars, Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik, and the ever popular I’ll be by Edwin Mcain.

As i was playing all of these high school hits, i now missed high school. I missed those times when i had a chinese-collared uniform. Those days that i was still able to sleep at 10pm at night and wake up at 5:30 the day after. I miss the intramurals. I miss the varsity team. The who’s-your-crush secrets. Mcdo after dismissal. The over-zealous teachers. The popular people. And also the usual classmates you see in the corridors. Heck, I missed seeing the school itself. If only our high school yearbook was properly prioritized and not sabotaged, i would still remember the faces of these beautiful people and i would not be sentimentalizing on Nsync songs just to remember high school (which is somehow kinda weird).  Well anyway,thinking of these things, i realized how far i’d already gone. Although these are things of the past. I don’t fail to remember where i was once. I really learned many things and experiences from those days. And i would deeply regret not having to study there. If only just for a day, i’d love to go back to being a high school student again. Same school. Same people.

This is the month i am celebrating my most and my ever mind-bending ‘heartbreak’ (Yey! anniv!). After almost a year of mending, puffing cigars, few beers, love songs and wasting my time on unproductive things just to ‘work’ my way out of the wreaking i-have-a-broken-heart ideology!, i wondered how it was a learning experience when i had the most excruciating experience of my whole life. Yep, it was like nirvana in hell. *sigh*.

 

“sino’ng niloko mo? bawal yan!”
I am now slowly realizing how dumb and cheesy i was when i wrote poems and tried to tell the ‘whole story’ to my friends to ease my pain back then. But now,I dare not to even say a word of how i got myself heartbroken. Its also a pain in d’ ass whenever i see two hands holding tightly together. Memories would just flashback and that really puts me down(sober). Well, it was the past. Time to move on, as they say. But then somehow, with all of these being historic and to some people, forgettable. I decided to blog about my story. I will include the poem i featured in my Multiply site a year ago (even better! haha). I’ve also sent this to Boy’s Night Out’s Confession Session. This is just to share the feelings i had back then(aww) and to show how pathetic i am. But, what the hell. So why am i doing this if you may ask. Seriously? Nothing. I just wanted to put some gas on an old fire. just to re-live the pain for a little. Here’s the poem:

Its’ you that i believed that love will find me the second time.
I was ready to hold on.
but we would always just pretend.

i’ve always wanted to be the one beside you, but now,im ready to give you up…

i’d be lying if i just said i didn’t ever think of us, but my pride wouldn’t let me.

i needed to say those 3 simple yet overrated words. i tried to say it, but i know it wouldn’t come out right. maybe, its just me, or how i stuttered when im next to you.

Now, i”m always closing my eyes so i can see your face again and again.
its these times that i wanted to hold back my tears. At least, for a while…
but as soon as i opened them, the reality of not having you, shreds my heart into pieces.

i’ve always wanted each and every second with you. Those times you were always telling me how much will you sacrifice yourself for that special someone.

i tried to put myself in that position where i can be your someone. I tried to let you see, that i can be that someone. someone you ever wanted, someone who can love you for who you are. and how your supposed to be loved.

Its those moments when you smiled at me, that i knew right then that i was dreaming.
i remembered the moments u shared your thoughts, your dreams, your heartaches, and our memories i always been keeping inside my very heart that kept me awake at night.

I was close…real close. but the songs i listened never reached your ears. These were songs about you. but these are also the songs that i realized you were already gone. .

its clear in my mind now that this is the time for me to move on. Like you were always reminding me of how you moved on when that fragile heart of yours break.
i wished it was that easy. but how can i forget the moments you we’re mine?

Those moments forgotten. Those lines that were never really said. Those moments that there were only you and me.

I’ve learned now to hold on but tell me how would i let go ?

So mushy. I can’t believe i wrote this. did i? oh well,moving on.

Hello visitor! this is my first blog using Wordpress. i am currently taking my time thinking of something to blog about as i am writing this. I haven’t really thought of what this blogsite should be about.. maybe i’ll put my ramblings or anything, whatsoever. If you find my blogs interesting or rather offensive, just comment, say whatever you wanna say…